why I do what I do.

sometimes I get those questions.
the hard ones.

why do I have so many children? and how could I ever make time for all of them?
why do I stay home? especially when we could have so much more?
why do I home school? what will become of them if I keep them home?
why do I take pictures? so many, of us, of others?
why do I scrapbook? how could I find the time?

sometimes I expect the never ending supply of repetitive questions. and sometimes they come before I am prepared and have the perfect answer, but today.

today.

because in this little moment I am completely aware. completely sure. positive that I know the answer from here on out. no more laughing (nervously), no more shock or surprise. no more saying I just make it work. no more lack luster.

in this moment if you dare to ask, I have answers.


I am me. I am living a life chosen, predestined. Defined by a God who created me. He planned a life for me before my lungs were even breathed into.


"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be." Psalm 139:13-16

He gave me a passion. A heart for children. A heart for the lost and a creative spirit. and I know they can blend together to grow His kingdom. He put a story in my heart and a song on my lips. He created me with a need for adventure and a need for working with my hands.

He gave me a desire to teach and mold and nurture and be. He gave me a heart to sing and dance and journey through His beautiful earth with little hands in mine and open hearts ready to hear. He gave me a heart to spread news to them that is lasting and life keeping.

and their hands.... I am grabbing each of them tightly, individually, completely, imperfectly, until I know it is time to let go... skipping, laughing, stumbling and crying along the way.

"You will go out in joy and be led forth in peace; the mountains and hills will burst into song before you, and all the trees of the field will clap their hands." Isaiah 55:12

He gave me a desire for capturing life. With a lens. A Jesus lens that needs to be refocused often. I take pictures of His beauty, His creation... and am humbled by the thought of it. sometimes I just feel unworthy to capture those memories, those pictures that are His alone. but when I do it I feel so blessed, so complete, so full.
it is worship to me.

I scrapbook to capture life as it is. I know that some people may think of it as a hobby, but it is not. sometimes I know I make a new memories just because I know I can create a lasting page or project to commemorate it. sometimes I wish I could hold a moment forever. a lot of the time I want to hold moments. but I cannot. they pass. life does not last. it is fleeting. but if some of it can be put into a place, a life book where we can look back and remember and learn from and rejoice over, that is immeasurable, priceless. art is a part of me I need to do to feel complete, but knowing the value makes it healing and inspiring. and worth it. worth all the time I put into it.

so why? the answer is simple. because of God. because of who He made me. because of what He has given me.

and that is just what I will tell the next person who asks me.

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

supplies for this page:

Pretty Little Studio Apple Cider Line
Pretty Little Studio Mr Woodgrain Numbers Die-cuts
Mr Hueys Mists
Sotheby's Thickers (American Crafts)
Epiphany Crafts Shape Studio Tool Round 14

Epiphany Crafts Shape Studio Bubble Caps Round 14